I’m going to tell you about the party. And my long weekend in general. I am. I just am not going to do it in this post.

Because you deserve more than me just telling you. You deserve me showing you. And how will I do that? With the photos on my cousin’s camera. That is not in my possession. And which she still has not sent me. (No pressure…Morgan.)

Besides, I have something much more pressing to share: I can’t sleep. For the first time in over two years.

If this were a movie, this would be the moment where someone spits out his coffee and yells something to the effect of, “STOP THE PRESSES.”

That is, if this were a really, really lame movie.

But the fact remains, it’s 1:50 a.m. and I am wide awake. It’s actually more surprising that I so rarely find myself lying awake at night considering that for the first two years of my life, I almost never slept. I’m not exaggerating. Ask my mother.

But for pretty much my whole adult life, I didn’t have too much trouble. Sure, there were the nights I stayed up hours reading whatever new book I had discovered (I’m a nerd, blah blah blah…), but for the most part, I loved sleep.

Seriously. I rival house cats in my ability to fall asleep in just about any circumstance.

Case in point: I once fell sound asleep about two minutes into the Michael Jackson movie. Which I was watching with my soon-to-be mother-in-law. On her couch. In the middle of the day.

Those are skillz, people.

I’m also one of those people who (rather obnoxiously) cannot sit still for more than five minutes. Well, I can sit still. But only if I’m watching something really interesting on TV. Or at a computer. Where I can, ya know, entertain myself by blogging or something. All that non-stop activity can tire a girl out.

Despite all this evidence for why I should be able to be sleepy at a moment’s notice, here I am. Wide awake. Now at 1:53 a.m.

It’s partly because I’ve got a lot on my mind. It’s partly because I took a 3-hour nap at 2:00 this afternoon. (Don’t judge.) But whatever the reason, here we are. (Or rather, I am. Unless you’re up too. Which is neat. Unless you’re just on the west coast, in which case it just means you’re a functioning member of society. Congrats.)

As you’ve probably deduced, you super sleuth you, there is zero point to this post. Except that I’ve suddenly got time to kill and am hoping that some stream-of-consciousness blogging will be just the ticket to send me back to sleepy-time land. (My SECOND favorite of all the lands.)

Hmm…what else to ramble on about…ooh! I can show you a picture of my new hair. You’ve been DYING to see it right? (Right? …guys?) Whatevs, you’re going to see it anyway. Check it:

This picture is actually a two-fer because you’re ALSO getting to see what I look like when I can’t sleep. AND getting a sneak peek of my famed grandpa glasses! I know, it’s almost like a second Christmas. (Or a ninth day of Hanukkah. I don’t judge.)

So anyway. Yup. That’s ma hair. Enjoy. And lookee there. We’re passed the 2 a.m. mark. Brilliant.

Anyone have a few “how to fall asleep fast” tips to pass on? Or at least anything better to think about when I can’t fall asleep fast?

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