I’ve been thinking about life a lot lately. (I know. DEEP.)
More specifically, everything that has changed in my own in the last five years. The hubs and I have been discussing the future pretty regularly, which, for me at least, leads to natural reflection of what has already happened.
I put some serious thought into what point in my life I could say I was the happiest.
The thing about the happiest moments of you life is that they’re not happy because they’re perfect. They’re just imperfect in a way you can laugh at and appreciate. And they’re so almost perfect that you don’t even care about the distinction anyway.
I came up with a couple of moments like that.
1. Eighth grade (2000/2001)
Yup, middle school. I really liked middle school. (I know, I’m a freak.) I didn’t have too much trouble with bullies, my style was probably ridiculous but I didn’t know enough about style to know, I had good friends, and I kept busy doing things I really enjoyed with people I liked being around. My friend Annie and I often joke that eighth grade was one of our best years, but honestly, I think there has always been a hint of sincerity in the joke.
2. My ASME summer (2008)
Did we just take a 7-year leap into the future/past? Yes, we did. Which isn’t to say the almost-decade in between sucked, it just means there wasn’t all that much that stood out. I got my braces off. I got my driver’s license. I graduated high school. There. Now you’re caught up.
Anyway, that summer? My ASME summer? That summer ruled. I was living in the heart of the place I had dreamed of living in for years, working for a company I had dreamed of working at for years. I had an awesome roommate who it still amazes me I clicked with as well as I did. I was in an entirely new environment, which made me feel like I could be whoever I wanted to be. And I was only there for three months, so if I decided I didn’t like this new person I had tried to be, I could leave her behind at the end of the summer.
I even spent a bit of time with the would-be-hubster that summer. Although, in the sake of total disclosure, we exchanged literally three sentences the whole time. Romance.
I ended that summer riding high and entirely confident in my ability to take over the world. (If I wanted to.)
3. The day I got engaged. (June 14th, 2010)
Heck YES I knew that date without having to look it up. What do you take me for?
But seriously, guys. It was so awesome. Joey really outdid himself, flying me to Vancouver, taking me to the top of a mountain, getting me to accidentally film the proposal myself, and even weeks before getting friends and family to film themselves saying congrats so he could show me the video later (after we got off the mountain and I had calmed down a bit). I mean…just watch.
RIGHT? It was so perfect. I would argue the proposal is almost better than the wedding day because you don’t stress about anything (well, at least the person getting asked doesn’t stress because you usually don’t know it’s coming). All of the family drama, expenses, and stress would come later. On that day, we were getting married soon. And that’s all I needed to know.
That was a really great day.
4. Our actual wedding day. (April 10, 2011)
I know you’re sick of my gushing about my wedding, so you can read that post if you don’t already know why this was such a great day.
I try to be one of those people who learn from their mistakes. Actually, I try to be one of those people who learns from the mistakes of others, but sometimes I’m too stupid to pay enough attention. So when I think about the future and which options will make me the happiest, I think it’s important to reflect on what has made me happiest in the past. (My own personal twist on repeating history. The positive version.)
The trouble is, part of me thinks it’s impossible to ever be your “happiest” in the moment. It’s more of a reflective emotion. And once you designate something the “best day of your life,” you’ve already put it on a shiny pedestal, and nothing will ever be able to compare because you’re probably only remembering the good parts.
I mean, eighth grade? ASME summer? I still had issues and things I hadn’t gotten figured out yet and things weren’t actually perfect. And if I compare my relationship with Joey to how it was when we got engaged or even married, we’re so much stronger and closer than we were then.
You kind of need perspective to know what you had when you had it. So who knows? Maybe in 20 years I’ll look back on 2012 and think, “Damn…that was a good year.) Besides, it’s pretty awful to think that my best years have truly already happened. I prefer to think that the best is always yet to come.
What about you? When were you happiest? How do you feel when you think about sometime being your best time?