It has been almost two months since I made my decision to be happy all the time, so I figured it’s probably time for an update.
I’m going to be honest with you guys, I wasn’t perfect. I was not literally happy all the time. There were days when I was exhausted, frustrated, even just downright grumpy. Days I snapped at my husband. Days I just couldn’t be bothered to be happy.
And even when I would feel myself slipping into that unhappy place, I would mentally remind myself about my little project, and you know what would happen? This bitter little voice in my brain would mutter, “You know what? I don’t care. I deserve to feel unhappy right now.”
Isn’t it weird when your brain gives you an unexpected answer? It had never occurred to me that when I would sulk or wallow or whatever I was doing, there was a part of me that felt I had earned that low point.
Honestly, the fact that I subconsciously felt that way made me a little sad. I mean, the whole point of the project is that I know I’m my best self when I’m happy and positive. Doesn’t it seem a bit selfish that I would feel like the world owed me a moment to not be my best self?
So I spent a little bit of time considering that. No, I don’t want to always put pressure on myself to be the best. But to be my best self? Is that asking too much?
The answer is that I don’t know. As a staunch believer in moderation in all things, it seems reasonable that I would give myself the day off if I really needed it. And while I still always want to try to be my best self as often as I can, it sort of makes sense that to be my best self, I would need to be able to have a day or an hour or even ten minutes to just allow my brain to relax, feel whatever it’s feeling in that moment, and then get on with life.
So maybe that’s the difference. I can be unhappy for a moment if that’s truly how I feel, I just can’t let those feelings consume me. I can’t let them cripple me.
As someone who spent roughly five years as a victim of negative thoughts (yeesh…THAT’S the sad part, folks), I think my project is just a promise to myself that I won’t let it happen again. I refuse to be a victim of anything. I won’t waste anymore of my life as a (let’s face it) willing captive of negativity and unhappiness.
Which is why I’ll continue to say that I’m going to be happy all the time. Because — even though I know I won’t be perfect at it — if I even get close to that goal, I’ll be doing pretty well.
And today? Today I choose happiness. Today, I choose to feel like this:
What (if anything) do you do to get yourself out of a funk? And if you don’t make an active effort to be happy, why do you think that is?