I’m aware the title of this post is a bold statement. But it’s really the only way to describe what I did this morning.
(I’m also aware just YESTERDAY I said I wasn’t going to talk about working out all the time. But I’m boring. And a liar. Deal with it.)
I’ve mentioned before the intense Epic classes that I signed up for with my friend Diana. What I have not mentioned?
What is a Burpee Thursday, you ask? I’ll elaborate.
The class is broken into eight stations. Each station is comprised of some kind of toning move followed by five burpees. You perform each station five times before moving on to the next station. You have 45 seconds to perform each set.
So, for example, at one station you might do five dead lifts followed by five burpees. Five times. Then, at another station, you might do a box jump followed by five burpees. Five times.
Occasionally you finish the set before the 45 seconds are up, which means you have time to fit a few more burpees in. (Lucky you!)
I’ll save you the head scratching and just tell you that all of that averages out to at least 200 burpees per class.
I know you’re no doubt a busy person, so you probably read the last sentence kind of quickly and the meaning didn’t truly sink in for you. So I’m going to need you to pause for a second and really think about that.
Two. Hundred. Burpees.
In case you are unfamiliar with burpees (in which case, you were probably pretty perplexed at the 800 references to them I made above), this is a burpee.
It might look like the slightly more energetic cousin of the jumping jack, but rest assured — it’s so, so much worse.
If you don’t believe me, get on the floor right now and do ten in a row. Just ten. Go on, I’ll wait. I DARE YOU.
Now that we are all in agreement that these things are the work of the devil, it seems only fitting to remind you that I did over two hundred of them this morning.
TWO HUNDRED, YOU GUYS.
Even crazier? It’s the second time I’ve taken this class. The first time, I think it was actually worse because I had no idea what to expect and I was by myself. This time, it was still a beast, but at least I had my pal Diana to grumble with.
In case you were wondering, this is what you look like after you’ve done over 200 burpees:
Diana defies the laws of science and logic with her ability to still look cute. (I credit the mystical powers of her entirely jade outfit.) I look appropriately near death.
Of course, the obvious benefit to doing The Hardest Workout You’ve Ever Done (besides bragging about it 8,000 times in your next blog post) is that you feel like a warrior princess the rest of the day. No matter what you accomplish for the next 12 hours, you’re doing this in your head:
Because you accomplished anything after doing over 200 burpees. (Say “over 200 burpees” again.)
And that, my friends, is pretty epic.