Life in New York

Life lesson #139: Just because you know you SHOULDN’T get a pet, doesn’t mean you won’t WANT to get a pet.

I’ve wanted a puppy for the better part of five years. The rational part of me knows that I shouldn’t get a puppy right now because a) they are expensive, b) I don’t have the time a new puppy requires, and c) I have roommates to consider.

The puppy-loving part of me can only focus on how adorable they are.

My roommate Erica and I were just discussing how her boyfriend Paul wants to adopt a kitten, but even a self-sufficient pet like that means responsibilities. For example, you can no longer go on vacation on a whim because you have another living organism to consider. There’s a reason why some people consider pets practice for children.

So for now I will just try to distract myself from my puppy love. (See what I did there?)

So you know how there are many, many reasons why I should not be a model? Namely, height deficiency, not being malnourished, general lack of ability to walk in a straight line?

I mean, sure, the theory has never been tested, per se, but I think most people have had a generally negative feeling about the idea.

Well, my nay-saying friends, today we can all feel incredibly justified in our doubts.

Life lesson #138: I should never be a model.

So the Knot does this live TV show on our website every Monday, and today they did this whole fashion segment where they had models (several of whom were actually cleverly disguised staff members) strut their stuff down a “runway” that was actually just the walkway between desks and the wall. The main issue with a live show is that, of course, if you screw something up, it’s too late. The whole world saw.

So to counteract this problem, the staff and camera crew will do several run-throughs to make sure they know exactly what they want to do when the time is right. So naturally, they wanted to practice the runway walk and decide which camera angles to use ahead of time.

Problem: They didn’t have their actual models ready because they were in hair and makeup.

Solution: Grab the nearest interns and make them pretend to be a bride and groom.

Here’s the kicker: I wore an ivory dress to work today. At least that meant I got to be the bride. My poor fellow intern Alex wore black, so she was my dashing betrothed.

The marriage didn’t last (you know how these rushed-into things go), but at least we both realized that there really isn’t anything more embarrassing than having your ENTIRE OFFICE watch you traipse back and forth 80 times. Yep, sure did.

On the upside, got a Knot blog post published today. Check it out, yo.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a virtually constant reader.

The only time you’ll catch me without a book on my person is when I decide to carry a bag NOT the size of a small aquarium. Although I have been known to ditch my wallet and just carry the necessary cards so I can fit whatever novel I’m working on in my clutch. A girl’s gotta have priorities.

This has become especially true since moving to the city. What with my three-train commute and the difficulty of meeting up with friends at the exact agreed upon time (Ok, I’m always 15 minutes early. Deal with it.), I find myself with a lot of time to kill, and I’m more than happy to do that with a book.

But while I’ll whole-heartedly claim the bookworm title, there are times when I find myself with nothing to do but wait and I can’t bring myself to pull out my book.

Usually this happens when some part of my life has become a bit volatile and I just have too much on my mind to give Vonnegut my full attention. So instead I’ll just stare into the littered abyss that is the subway track and let my mind wander. A little down time never hurt anyone, right?

My breakfast today is scrambled eggs on graham crackers.

I would be angry, but this is just too delicious to deny. Thank you, poverty, for this nutritious-ish meal and this lovely life lesson!

Life lesson #135: The longer you wait to buy groceries the more creative you will be.

My body is plotting against me.

So as you may remember, I’m trying to work out more. (In my defense, the main reason I’m not running as much is this tortuous pain in my right heel. I don’t know where it came from, but it makes me regret running for the rest of the day.) Whining aside, I’m still trying to make it work.

You may also remember that I have no control over my bodily functions (apparently). So the main problem with the running plan? Whenever I DO get out and jog around, I’m STARVING the rest of the day. As in, I can’t get full.

Which means I eat more than I would have otherwise. Which means the caloric burn was all but nil.

According to every health information source ever, I should counteract this by filling up on fibrous or water-dense foods. See: fruits, vegetables, air-popped popcorn, whole wheat whatever. Also, eat more protein. So my plan today is to load up on veggies and chicken at the nearby deli for lunch. Because I’ve already eaten two packets of oatmeal and a peanut butter sandwich with my morning liter of water.

What I’m saying is, I have to be stopped.

So I survived camping.

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(Insert oohs and ahhs here.)

It was actually pretty fun. I mean, the quarter-size mosquito bites on my ankles, calves, and forehead (Yes, FOREHEAD. Effing mosquitoes…) I could have done without, but I’m a sucker for a day on a beach (even if it’s attached to a lake) and an evening eating a s’more in front of a fire.

Here’s a list of things camping has over civilization:

1. You can wear pajamas all day. In fact, it’s encouraged.

2. The food. Pancakes, burgers, the previously mentioned s’mores…sign me up.

3. Campfires. Even though you’re all smoky until you take a shower, I love the smell in the air.

4. Stars. Turns out you can’t see them in the city. Go figure.

Here’s a list of things civilization will ALWAYS win at:

1. Showers. Sharing my bathing space with a daddy longlegs the size of my hand? No, thank you.

2. While we’re on the subject, the bugs in general. Spiders, beetles, blood-thirsty mosquitos and ticks — these are things I can’t enjoy outside a Pixar movie.

3. Well…pretty much everything else.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but I think I’m one of those “camping in moderation, please” types. So until next year, I’ll be enjoying my indoor plumbing and central air/heating, thank you very much.

And of course, there’s always a life lesson to make it all worthwhile:

Life lesson #131: That which does not kill us only makes us stronger. And more bug-bitten.