Remembering to be happy

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Justine Lorelle

I’ve been thinking a lot about this post I wrote a while back. Recently, an old friend reached out to me and told me that she has read this post multiple times and it really helps her remember to find joy in things even when life isn’t perfect.

That kind of knocked the wind out of me because, honestly, I haven’t been doing such a great job of that myself over the last two months.

Things have been really stressful at work since the new year. I’ve been feeling a bit homesick for the first time in four years. (Not always for a place, but for the people and life I used to have at the time. Ahh ’twas simpler back then.) Compounding all that is our impending move, needing to finish packing, needing to actually find a place in one of the most cut-throat real estate markets, needing to move all our stuff…

It can be really hard to find the joy when you’re dealing with a perpetual stomachache and stress headache.

But I’m not doing anyone any favors (least of all myself) by dwelling on the things I can’t control and just have to deal with. So, in the name of the Happiness Project, I give you a list of things that I am happy about:

1. Joey and I had a really fun date last night. We’ve been so busy lately (me with traveling and work, him with side jobs and work) that we haven’t really been connecting as much. And because my patented stress management technique is bottling up my feelings until I finally burst into sobs over something as unimportant as breaking a dish, I know I’ve been wall-ing myself off instead of opening up and letting him help me. So last night we used up some Outback Steakhouse gift certificates he got from work (SUP.), followed it up with some fro-yo and The Walking Dead, and basically unloaded everything we were dealing with. I know I felt tons better. My husband is pretty awesome.

2. WE SOLD THE CHINA CABINET. I know the all-caps might imply that I’m more excited about this development than the date night, but I think I’m just more surprised.

I had originally posted my (elegantly crafted) Craigslist ad on President’s Day, and despite getting a few nibbles, no one ended up buying it. I renewed the ad on Monday and got three offers by the afternoon (and another one last night). Last night, a woman who lives in our town came by and said she would take it. Left a deposit and everything! So it will hopefully be in its new home by Saturday night.

Lesson learned: No one Craigslist shops seriously on President’s Day.

You guys. I am so relieved. I have literally been stressing about reselling the thing since we decided to move. And it’s especially nice to cross something off my things-we-need-to-do-before-we-move list.

3. I’m looking at apartments tonight! Which isn’t exactly positive necessarily, but it could be. At least I’m doing something besides emailing countless ads only to be told that place I’m looking at has sold but would I like to look at some uglier apartments in bad neighborhoods?!?

Answer: No. And I hate you for tricking me.

So anyway. Those are the things I’m being happy about. Not a bad list, right?

Everyone leave a comment about something that’s making you happy. LETS START A REVOLUTION! (OF JOY!)

5 Entertaining Tips for Newbies

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Justine Lorelle

{source}

Yesterday, Joey and I had a few friends over for dinner and dessert. It was by no means the most elaborate or biggest party I’ve ever thrown — in fact, the whole thing came together spontaneously and in about six hours — but despite it’s simplicity, we had a lovely time with our friends eating, laughing, and catching up.

Because I grew up with a hostess-with-the-mostess mother then worked in the wedding industry and now work for one of the most famous hostesses in the world, I’ve always been fascinated by what details make a really great party. I still have a lot to learn, but I thought it could be fun (and helpful for anyone planning a party in the next few months) to share my favorite tips for planning a fun, stress-free event.

Here are my top five entertaining tip for newbies:

1. Set the table and make the salad ahead.

I always do these two tasks at least two hours before guests arrive. The table setting I might even do the day before if I have enough notice. For one, it forces you to start cleaning up. In my house, we use the dining room table to hold mail and other odds and ends that need to be put away. There’s usually a coat or two slung over a chair back. (I won’t name names as to whose coats they are…but they’re not mine.) The back corner of the room has also become an unofficial craft storage area. (Okay, that one’s on me.)

The point is, there’s quite a bit to be sorted out before it’s company-ready. All of which has to be done before the table can be set, so saying I’m going to set the table means I’m going to get the dining room ready. Plus, setting the table in advance means you can take your time, and the extra effort goes a long way. As for the salad, trust me when I say it will be the last thing you want to worry about when you’re trying to get dinner on the table. Make it early and keep it in the fridge.

2. Delegate, delegate, delegate.

I rarely make dessert or purchase wine for events in my own home. In my area, I rarely invite someone over who doesn’t accept with the phrase, “Sure, what can I bring?” Letting someone else bring a few drinks or a dessert lightens your load both physically and financially — let people help.

3. Presentation is everything.

There’s nothing wrong with serving something store-bought as long as no one ever sees the package. I’m not saying you should deceive your guests (if someone asks you for the recipe, ‘fess up), what I mean is that if you can’t be bothered to cook, the least you can do is serve the food on a pretty platter.

This goes for the table as well. Use place mats or a table cloth, and break out your nice dishes even if the meal isn’t all that fancy. (Hey, when else are you going to use them?) A pretty table sets a more festive mood even if the get-together is laid-back.

4. Two words: Cloth napkins.

Everyone feels a bit fancier and, at the end of the night, you just throw them all in the laundry hamper. Easy-peasy.

5. Clean up right after guests leave.

You will want to fight me on this one. After a day of cooking and cleaning and possibly a week of planning, at the end of the night you’ll want to put your feet up or answer your bed’s siren call while the dirty pots and dishes sulk in the sink. DO NOT DO IT. Believe me when I say there is nothing better than a successful night of hosting except the feeling you have when you wake up to a perfectly clean apartment. Odds are, the last time it was this clean was moments before your guest arrived. Don’t you want to revel in it a bit? So suck it up, wash the dishes (and dry if you’re feeling extra ambitious), clean the tabletop, swiff the floor, and take out the garbage. Then sit back with one last glass of wine before bed. You’ve earned it. (And you’ll thank me in the morning.)

Happy entertaining!

The Revenge of the Single Girl Dinners

Posted on September 26, 2012 by Justine Lorelle

Whenever Joey and I are running low on groceries and lacking the funds or motivation to buy more, we’re forced to get a bit more creative with what we eat for dinner. The result?

For one, we clean out our fridge and pantry, which makes me feel better about using what we have instead of over-buying. Go, responsible consuming!

For another, we eat a lot more of what I have affectionately dubbed “Single Girl Dinners.”

I’ve discussed the gist of Single Girl Dinners before, but I feel like the topic has been coming up a lot lately as more and more of my friends pair off and get married or move in with their dudes.

Basically, it’s anything you would eat as a meal but would never serve to a guest. I’m willing to bet at least three different weird things you have eaten for dinner but never bragged about just popped into your brain.

The point is, I’ve decided to embrace the Single Girl Dinner (and possibly just amend it to the Low On Groceries Dinner). Especially since, for the last week, Joey has been taking a night class, so in general, I’m on my own for how I feed myself.

It’s weirdly…liberating. And I get a little nostalgic for my poor, single girl days. Don’t get me wrong; I love being married and love cooking real, would-serve-to-a-guest meals, but curling up on the couch eating tuna salad and crackers and watching Bravo by myself inspires a feeling I can only describe as decadent.

Plus, it makes a great lunch the next day! See?

I don’t know, you guys. Between Joey taking over the weekday cooking duties and me embracing these super easy “meals,” I’m a little worried my cooking muscles will start to atrophy. So for old time’s sake, let’s make this a quick Kitchen Adventure, shall we?

Single Girl’s Fancy Tuna Salad & Crackers
2 cans of tuna, drained
1/2 cup of non-fat plain Greek yogurt
2 stalks of celery, chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
2 Tablespoons crumbled feta cheese
Whole wheat crackers

Combine all ingredients (except the crackers) in a small bowl. Spread on crackers. Enjoy. (Keeps in an air-tight container for lunch the next day.)

SEE? Eating whilst single is beyond easy. Also, it’s kind of pathetic I blogged this. Having second thoughts…but it’s been too long since I posted so I’m keeping it. But Lord knows I need to stop scraping the bottom of the barrel sometime soon.

Or at the very least, start eating more dinners that don’t call for crackers.

A man who cooks.

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Justine Lorelle

I’m pretty sure even my husband would have no problem admitting that, between the two of us, I’ve always been more of the chef.

“Chef” used loosely here. I mean, I can cook. But nine times out of ten I’m just throwing things in a pan, incorporating one of my tried-and-true cooking methods, and then just holding my breath and hoping for the best.

One meatloaf mishap aside, I think we could say with a fair amount of certainty that this system has been pretty successful. And in general, I like cooking. It’s a good way to unwind at the end of the day sometimes.

Then I got that pesky new job in the city. (Still accepting postcards, by the way!)

And while so far I love everything about the job, the commute does limit the time I spend at home in the evening. So we were faced with a choice: Either we don’t eat until after nine every night, or Joey learns to cook.

I should clarify that he can cook. The boy makes a mean omelette, and he once whipped up a gorgeous dinner of pork chops, sautéed asparagus, and mashed potatoes. He just doesn’t do it often, and it takes him a while. (The pork chops? I kid you not, took him about seven hours from start to finish.)(They were, however, the best pork chops I’ve ever had.)

I think the main thing holding Joey back was just an unfamiliarity with the kitchen and cooking. He knew the basics, but as soon as he encountered anything new, he got nervous and just had no idea what to do with it.

In the weeks leading up to my new job starting, I tried to incorporate Joey into cooking more. Even if he was just hovering over my shoulder watching how I do things (“This is how you roast broccoli…this is how you make sure the chicken is cooked through…”), the main goal was for him to have a general idea of how to cook just about anything.

Wednesday was his first night in the kitchen since I started the job.

He made baked chicken Parmesan and roasted broccoli.

Success! it really was delicious, and he will probably be eating the leftovers tonight.

Then Thursday, he took a play from my book and threw a bunch of veggies and some sliced chicken sausage in a pan to sautée. Then he even created his own creamy cheese sauce to put over some whole wheat pasta. I didn’t even teach him that one!

He even threw together a little spinach salad for a starter.

So our little experiment has been successful so far. But more important than the actual food, it has made me so grateful to be married to someone who has no problem stepping up when his family needs something. At the risk of getting mush all over this blog, it makes me love him even more every night.

And, you know, not just because he’s handing me a warm plate of delicious food.

4 Steps for Getting Through Wedding Withdrawal

Posted on July 26, 2012 by Justine Lorelle

So. It’s been three days since you got back from your honeymoon. And, I mean, it was great and all. Really great. You loved it.

But something is amiss.

What is this weird sensation you have to search Pinterest for bouquet ideas? Why haven’t you cancelled your membership to the various online wedding planning sites you joined a few months ago? We all know you totally baited your coworker into bringing up that wedding she’s going to next week just so you could talk about it.

What you’re experiencing is wedding withdrawal, and there is a cure.

1. You don’t have to let go completely…yet.

There are still a few wedding-related tasks to accomplish after you say “I do.” Get your wedding dress cleaned and preserved (or donate it!), mail out those thank-you notes, and get on the arduous process of changing your name.

That’s bound to keep you preoccupied for at least a month, right?

2. Indulge your desire to plan by offering to host any baby or bridal showers that pop up.

Your husband’s cousin just found out she’s pregnant? You can totally plan her gender reveal party. Your sister’s friend just got engaged? DIBS ON THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

I mean, you needed to do something with that binder of centerpiece ideas.

3. Break up with your message boards.

I know, I know. You may have spent the last year chatting with those girls about your evil sister-in-law and whether or not your should alter your dress’s neckline, but hanging on (and getting inundated with wedding-themed newsletters) is only going to make the break-up harder.

Say your good-byes and delete your account—after you’ve become Facebook friends with the ones you would actually hang out with.

4. Remember that the wedding is supposed to end sometime.

You might have loved planning, but now it’s time to enjoy what really matters: your marriage! But don’t worry, it’s still okay to thumb through your wedding album (or even pop in the wedding video) whenever you get a craving.

What Working at a Wedding Planning Website Taught Me About Planning a Wedding

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Justine Lorelle

I spent the first two years after graduating from college working for a wedding planning website. It’s not really important which one, but it’s worth noting that it’s the “#1 online wedding destination.” So…yeah. The people who work there know quite a bit about this whole wedding-planning thing.

I was even working there while I was planning my own wedding. (Weddings were my life for a while.) And I like to think that I was able to go into that process a little better prepared than I would have been if I had gone in cold because a large portion of my job was to, well, plan weddings. Plus, I managed our message boards, where brides from around the world aired their complaints, bragged about their details, and begged advice from their more experienced peers.

And now I want to pass the lessons I learned on to you. Here are 7 things working at a wedding planning website taught me about planning a wedding.

{father-daughter dance}

1. If they pay, they get a (very large) say.
In short, the only way to have complete control over your big day is to pay for every single thing yourself. And, honestly, even then you’ll have to deal with a lot of opinions. If I had a dollar for every bride who went on our message boards to whine about over-bearing parents (who also happened to be footing the bill), well, I could have covered all my own wedding costs. Knowing this fact, it’s important to enter wedding planning with a lot of communication up front. Make sure you and your parents or future-in-laws are on the same page about what you want. And if you just don’t want to deal with it, scale back your wedding and pay for it yourself. You’ll be saving yourself a lot of headaches (and possibly a wedding you hate) down the line.

{man of honor & bridesmaids}

2. Be nice to your bridesmaids.
It should be an honor to be asked to be in someone’s wedding. You should be asking people you love and who have been a big part of your relationship to be part of one of the most important decisions of your life. You shouldn’t think that the second they agree they have signed a contract to be your personal slaves.

Your bridesmaids really don’t have to do anything except wear the agreed-upon dress and show up on-time and relatively sober. So no, they don’t have to plan or attend every pre-wedding party, they don’t have to construct your bouquets the night before the wedding, and they don’t have buy you a lavish gift. But if you’re as nice to them as you were before you got a ring on your finger, they might actually want to do those things for you.

{bridal party}

3. Don’t be a burden.
Speaking of that bridesmaid dress, you really don’t need to have the $500 brand name to have a beautiful wedding. Either consult with your girls (one-on-one) before making a choice so you know what everyone’s budget is or give them a choice based on a color palette or style. And don’t demand an exotic bachelorette party or that they stay in an expensive hotel the night before (unless you’re buying…and even then, ask nicely). They’ll have a lot more fun at your wedding (and helping you plan) if they’re not tormented by a credit card bill along the way.

{my dress}

4. Once you buy a dress, you really need to stop looking at dresses.
You know why? Because there are always going to be more/prettier/trendier dresses out there. Trust me. Bridal Fashion Week happens twice a year, every year, and that fact isn’t going anywhere. You will only drive yourself crazy if you keep scoping out your options after you’ve made a purchase. The same is true for reception halls, color palettes, and, well, spouses.

5. Engagement season lasts from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day.
Wedding season is technically from June to October, but even that’s broadening every year. Translation: You are not allowed to get upset when someone else gets engaged or is getting married around the same time you are. Prepare for the onslaught of “We’re getting married!” Facebook updates and back-to-back save-the-dates, and don’t expect your friends’ lives to stop for a full month or year just because you’re hitting a major milestone. Because, trust me, they won’t.

{one of my favorite photos of my mom and me before the wedding}

6. You are not the first or the only person to deal with that issue.
So stop the pity party. I promise you that no matter what your story is, I have heard crazier. There are people out there with truly insane (and sometimes dangerous) family situations, horrible diseases and financial burdens, and virtually any other issue you can think of. The second you start letting your problems be your excuse to misbehave or treat others poorly is the second you become a bad bride.

Don’t be a bad bride.

7. Sometimes, even those really pretty weddings fall apart.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the first time I got an email from a bride who had been featured on our website asking me to take her wedding down. Her husband had cheated on her only three years after they said “I do,” they were now divorced, and she would prefer if every Google search of her name didn’t bring up that pretty little reminder of the happy day they had shared.

The fact is, you can get every detail exactly right. Your color palette can be exactly on trend, you can be exactly the weight you want to be, your bridesmaids’ shoes can complement their dresses exactly, your flowers can never wilt, and you can even provide favors people actually want. But that doesn’t mean life is going to be perfect when the last of the confetti is swept away.

In turn, not everyone will love their wedding. Sometimes weddings just aren’t the fairy wonderland of perfection and joy that the wedding industry makes them out to be. Sometimes they’re just a big, complicated event that bring out the worst in people you thought you knew and you’re just happy the day is finally over. So if the cake is knocked over and the DJ plays the songs on your do-not-play list and your mom gets drunk and throws a temper tantrum, it’s important to remember that the wedding isn’t the important part; the marriage is.