On My Mind

You know how you never feel like you have enough time to yourself? Like there are a million things you could get done, if only you had a solid hour or two to just focus and tackle them?

The problem is that this time only really comes around at the most inopportune times. Like when you’re trying to get to work and your train is delayed by s track fire. For over an hour.

Oh, did I not mention my current situation? Because that’s it.

And of course the irony is that I can do pretty much nothing during this time. I’m caught up online. I answer work emails when they come in. And I blog.
But you know what I would really like to use this time for?

  1. To update my various websites
  2. To clean out the baby room
  3. To organize my closets
  4. To cut Bogey’s hair
  5. To do dishes
  6. To paint the baby room
  7. To spruce up the garden
  8. To go for a run
  9. To do anything but sit on this God-forsaken train

But, alas. This is our life, right?

Here’s hoping we start moving soon.

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Really, I should have known that the new apartment was coming together too quickly.

We’ve only been in the new place for a couple months, and already I had the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom done. The hallway was going to be finished this weekend, and then all we would have left was the baby room.

It was just. Too. Simple.

Our upstairs neighbor must have known things were going a bit too swimmingly as well. So she decided to intervene.

Before I tell you this story, you need to know that our apartment is in the basement of a house. We have two floors, each of which are their own apartment, above us. We now return you to the story.

Last Friday, the woman on the third floor started filling up a pot of water in the sink. Then she left. For, apparently, hours. The pot quickly filled with water, and then the sink filled with water, and then the water overflowed and flooded her apartment. It then flooded the first floor apartment. It then started to leak into our apartment.

This is, apparently, the second time this woman has done this. *finger gun to the face motion*

Fortunately, Joey got home in time to realize what was happening (due to the three large, quickly expanding bubbles on our ceiling) and move our furniture out of the way and put put buckets under the bubbles. When everything was in place, he poked small holes in the bubbles to allow the water to drain into the buckets. The bubbles remained, but at least the water within them had been dealt with.

Or so we thought.

When our landlord sent over a contractor to assess the damage a week later (grumble), they found that water was not only in our hallway ceiling, it had also been leaking into one of our bedroom walls all week. The entire wall had rotted and needed to be ripped out. The ceiling needed to be opened, dried with heavy-duty fans for three days, and then either ripped out (if the wood had warped) or just have the sheetrock replaced (if it had not).

This all happened three days before we were supposed to have family over on Sunday for our gender reveal.

I was not, shall we say, pleased. There may have been tears. But I like to think I would have been able to handle it sans the weepies if I wasn’t pregnant.

The negatives of this situation are fairly obvious, so let’s look at the silver linings, okay?

1. This didn’t happen when the baby was here. I would much rather deal with construction without having to worry about it upsetting anyone’s nap time.

2. It could be worse? At least it’s only one wall and one section of ceiling as opposed to the more heavy-duty damage our upstairs neighbors are dealing with.

3. A friend offered her house for the party. Which is super nice, I just hate having to impose. Blerg.

Those are pretty much all of the positives. Really, there is very little good about water damage.

Sooooo that’s what’s going on. But on the actual bright side, today is my anatomy scan ultrasound, so hopefully we will know more about our little bean this weekend. Stay tuned!

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18 weeks

18 weeks

I felt my baby kick for the first time last night.

That’s a pretty quick sentence, so imma give you a minute to let it soak in. I know I needed a minute even after it happened.

We were at our weekly meeting, and it was the last talk. I had been feeling especially pregnant because my belly had officially started popping out pretty much that day. (Having a uterus the size of a cantaloupe will do that to a girl.)

In fact, just that morning I had been thinking about how stereotypical my other symptoms had been (mild nausea until exactly 12 weeks, exhaustion until 14 weeks, etc.) and wondering if the kicking would be the same. (I’m supposed to start feeling it anytime during or after the 18th week.

So there I am, sitting quietly with my hands on my belly as they often are these days, when suddenly it dawns on me that I feel a little poke — and it’s different from digestion or indigestion or anything I’ve ever felt before. I knew immediately this was something that was not, well, me. I may have stopped breathing for a second. I pressed down with my hands a bit more…and was rewarded with a second little poke.

Here are eight things that go through your brain the first time you feel your baby kick:

1. Hmmm what should I have for dinner? I’m so hungry and — wait a second, what was that?!
2. Relax a second, are we sure that wasn’t just gas?
3. It didn’t feel like gas.
4. Oh my goodness, do that again!
5. …please? Please, one more time?
6. Maybe it was just gas.
7. OH MY GOODNESS IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
8. *tears*

I managed to not actually cry (dang hormones), but I could barely contain my excitement. Later, after eating dinner, I could feel a few more tiny movements, but unfortunately nothing strong enough for Joey to feel yet.

But…you guys. Just when I think I’m done being amazed at this whole pregnancy thing, the little bean has a new bag of tricks to throw at me.

I can’t wait to see what he/she thinks up next.

Do you ever stop to think about the little things in your life that make you you?

I don’t. Or, at least, I didn’t used to. Which is funny to me because, as you’ve probably worked out by now, I’m a fairly introspective person. I think a lot about what I feel and why I feel it and what do I wish would have happened and why is that important to me and what does that say about me as a human being.

It can be exhausting.

But as much thought as I put into those things, it’s really not until I suddenly don’t feel like myself that I start to analyze who (or what) exactly I am.

For example, we moved a few weeks ago. (Yuck.) Not on the list of my favorite ways to spend a weekend, but the real worst part of moving to me is that your life is in complete disorder for at least a couple of weeks. Clothes are in random boxes in random rooms, dishes are buried under boxes of towels, and the thought of cooking at home (and thereby increasing the already overwhelming mess) is enough to induce tears. (Or maybe that’s just me?)

So for a few weeks, you wear boring outfits because God only knows where your accessories (or even your favorite jeans) are. And you eat takeout for every meal until your Seamless delivery guy starts to call you by name. And you shuffle and sidle around boxes so much you almost forget what it’s like to walk in a straight line through your own dang living room.

Hypothetically, of course.

Of course, I know that these things bother me, but it wasn’t until this weekend that I really started to analyze why. It wasn’t until I finally cleared away the majority of the boxes, set up our kitchen, and organized my clothes. When Joey and I had finally blocked off the living room and tossed the mound of cardboard molding on our patio. And suddenly…we could actually live in our apartment.

And immediately I started to feel more like myself.

Which…is weird? Because it’s not like you ever stop being yourself. But I had stopped being me in the way I define it. As someone who stays very organized. Who plans their outfits and puts some effort into their hair. Who can make their own breakfast before leaving the house. Who can walk from the kitchen to the bathroom without risking life and limb.

And maybe these are silly, surface things. So maybe I’m a silly, surface person. (See what I mean about the dangers of introspection?)

Now, I’m of course being a bit dramatic here. When I say “what defines me,” I am perfectly aware that there are myriad other things that make up who I am besides the fact that I appreciate a well ordered linen closet and shoes that perfectly mismatch with an outfit. But there’s something to be said for how having those things makes me feel — about my life and myself.

Which made me wonder…what are your things that make up you? Look at it like a desert island game: If you could only have five things every day to make you feel human, what would they be?

Judgment-free zone — there’s no way your list is shallower than a 1-inch curling iron.

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If you’ve been pregnant or thought about being pregnant for even fifteen seconds, you’ve probably realized that there is an abundance of things to read about the topic. Some might say too much to read.

But regardless your thoughts on Google-induced panic, I still think there are a lot of things people don’t tell you about the process of creating another human life.

Namely, how revolting a lot of it is.

Don’t get me wrong — there are wonderful things too. But the biggest thing I’ve learned about pregnancy in the last couple of months is that for everything amazing and miraculous thing, there is an equaling disgusting part of the process as well.

Take, for example, the effects baby has on your body. On one hand, I’m finally starting to develop the tiniest of bumps. Adorable! Amazing! Also giving my tummy a rounder look? Welp, turns out babies will also have a pretty solid effect on your regularity. (No pun intended.) Call me crazy, but it’s hard to find anything miraculous to see in constipation.

But don’t worry, the baby isn’t leaving all the disgusting side effects to me. Oh no, the bean has its own host of vom-inducing abilities.

For example, as of right now, our baby is completely formed (it’s just the size of a lemon for now). To me, that is completely incredible. But the funny thing about having all your organs is that they also start to work. Meaning the baby is digesting. And urinating. Into the amniotic fluid. Where it then reabsorbs its urine. So it can urinate it out again later.

It will repeat this pee, rinse, repeat cycle for the rest of the pregnancy. Glamorous, right?

The point is, it’s not all miracles and fairy dust. But, at the end of the day, I guess it’s still pretty cool.

It’s supposed to be marginally warmer today, so I’m trying to think all the spring thoughts I can.

And that means dreaming about our new patio! I mentioned yesterday that the patio/yard is one of the best features of our new apartment, and Joey and I are both excited about the possibilities of barbecues, al fresco dinners, and not having to walk Bogey down four flights of stairs every time he needs to pee.

Naturally, we’ve both started thinking about what we would like to do with the space. Here are a few of our initial ideas.

Outdoor Styling


I’d love to turn half of the patio into a seating/dining area with storage benches and a table we can seat at least six around when company comes over. I’d also like to grow a few of our own herbs (a project I undertook a few years ago indoors with…questionable results)(bugs, they spawned bugs), possibly from hanging planters on the chain link fence.

Joey almost immediately started pricing small grills on Craigslist, a project I fully endorse since we have more than enough room and burgers are delicious.

Finally, I’d move our string lights (currently hanging from our curtain rod in the living room) outdoors whenever we wanted a little mood lighting.

The real question is what to do with the dirt patch side of the yard. Ideally, I’d like at least part of it to be grass for the Boges, but that leads to the question of maintenance — we’re not buying a lawn mower. So maybe…mulch? Rocks? I’d like a couple tomato plants on the other half of the dirt, and maybe some other easy-to-grow-and-hard-to-kill veggies. I’m open to suggestions!