“But seriously, there’s a pig slaughtering plant down the road, so apparently once or twice a month it’s just awful. And i picked that over constant Quaker Oats smell…which is apparently always awful except on crunch berry days.”
~S
“We should make a pregnancy pact. Think how fun that would be! …Or not. It might be weird. …Or awesome. I would make Susie Jr. be best friends with Justiney Jr.”
~S
“I’m thinking about getting into archery, but it’s so expensive.”
~J
Joe:
*sigh* a teacher sent this email:
“Good morning guys,
The printer in my office is low on toner and is not printing good.
[named removed to protect the poor at grammar]”
me:
haha
It’s printing bad things, Joey.
Pictures of wars and rapists.
Joe:
well, say that..
lol
A TEACHER THOUGH, Justine!
me:
what KIND of teacher?
Joe:
responsible for raising and training our youths!
…Math, but STILL!
me:
haha
I’m rubbing off on him so nicely, aren’t I?
Annie: I’m doing video lectures right now
in FL I can kill ANYONE I don’t know that comes into my house
they don’t have to threaten me or anything
Me: wow
Annie: you’re in my house – dead
Me: hahaha
Annie: OR my car!
Me: well, not ME. You know me.
I can barge in.
right?
Annie: true
Me: yessss
Ann: well – if you unlawfully enter my home i could probs kill you
Me: good to know
no barging
Annie: seriously
I’m gonna do so much killin
Yesterday I went to Babies R Us to buy a gift. As I was checking out, the following conversation happened.
Saleswoman: Do you have a rewards card?
Me: Oh…no.
Saleswoman: *pause* Do you want one?
Me: *nervous laugh* Ah…no, thanks.
Saleswoman: *pause coupled with a meaningful look* Are you sure?
Me: Um…I think I’ll wait a while for that one.
Saleswoman: Hm.
GET OFF MY BACK, PUSHY SALESWOMAN.