Seasonal Affective Disorder

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I love summer, but I don’t think it could ever be my favorite season. Mostly because, while it is packed with loads of fun things to do, it always comes with a certain amount of stress.

A side effect of being a planner is that, often times, I tend to overplan my life. Besides social engagements, I also plan my workouts, when I clean my apartment, when I run errands, and virtually all of my recreation. (Yes, I have actually set aside time in my calendar for “chilling out.” I have a problem, I know.)

Lately, I feel like my calendar is stuffed to the brim, and when a friend asks if I can hang, I’m wracked with guilt when I can’t find a time slot. This only ever seems to happen to me in the summer time.

Plus, everything feels more stressful when you’re sweating out an 85-degree day, amiright?

When I started writing this post, I had the idea that I was going to commit to more relaxation — less planning. But there’s a part of me that resists that reasoning. After all, I’m young and only have a few serious obligations in life (AKA, no children yet). Shouldn’t this be the time that I cram my schedule with the things I enjoy doing? Because I do enjoy all of my plans when they’re happening. And if everything is getting done, is there really any harm in feeling busy?

Maybe it’s the previously mentioned guilt that is throwing a wrench in the machinery. It’s probably not possible to do everything for everyone, no matter how much I wish I could.

So basically, this is a story of me being a good little Midwestern girl who wants to please everyone.

Sigh. I’m such a cliche.

I heard a quote on a show one time that was basically: “You need to change your dialogue. Instead of ‘I’m so overwhelmed,’ say, ‘My cup runneth over.'” So essentially, I need to think positively about the fact that I’m busy to make it easier to handle.

And wait patiently for fall.

Is there a season where you feel like you’re just barely keeping it together? Would you rather overfill your life with happy things or risk missing out but keep your sanity?

I need to let a few things out.

In the immortal words of white girls everywhere, I’m over it.

I’m over the cold. Do you know how cold this winter has been? No one in New York remembers a winter like this in the last ten years or more.

That’s how cold.

It just keeps snowing, and the temperature keeps not budging above thirty. It’s a sick joke.

Speaking of sick jokes, here’s another one: No matter how cold it gets, I still have to train for a marathon.

That means one to two runs a week in the biting cold, wondering just how many times I can lose feeling in the tip of my nose before it just falls off. It means that at least once a week, I spend hours in literally freezing temperatures wearing various layers of spandex and fleece and telling myself that it’s not that bad.

And let’s talk about those hours. I’m getting tired, y’all. The last month, I’ve been leaving my apartment about half an hour later than normal because, when my alarm goes off at the usual time, my brain just rejects that it is time to get up. My body refuses to swing my legs to the floor and vacate the bed because I’m so dang tired and did I mention it’s cold out there?

Because, oh, another thing: My apartment is freezing. The super keeps playing dumb like we’re imagining that our thermometer says it’s below sixty degrees. Like maybe we won’t notice. But I notice.

And then when we complain, the heaters magically turns on for a few hours. And then it shuts off and we start the song and dance again.

I am tired of this dance and I hate this song.

And you know what else? In an effort to avoid exposing my tired, cold skin to even more frigid air, I foolishly decided taking the bus eight blocks would be smarter than walking this morning after a 7-mile outdoor run. I then sat on said bus for an hour before finally giving up at ninth avenue, meaning I STILL ended up walking five blocks in the cold. I COULD MURDER SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

Pfffoooo.

My apologies for this spree of negativity. I promise to do better next time.

You guys. Winter has broken me.

And by that, I mean I finally bought a puffy coat. It looks like this:

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So…yeah. It happened. Because while afternoons have been strangely balmy in NYC lately, mornings and evenings spent commuting to and from work have been rather uncomfortable.

Plus, on days like today when I feel like my body just might be trying to get sick, nothing feels enter than wrapping myself in a cocoon of synthetic down and a giant scarf and just pretending no one else is around.

Though, to be fair, I do the pretending part anytime I’m on the train.

Anyway. It’s big news in my world.

Speaking of actual news, the next month and a half has somehow gotten kind of busy. I have a lot of catch-up dates with friends, I’m going to Salt Lake City for Alt Summit in less than two weeks, then I’m off to Vegas for Super Bowl weekend. Then I basically have to start packing up my life because a move will be right around the corner. Wacky.

So what I’m saying is, if I am getting sick, lets get this thing over with, shallll we?

It is officially really, really cold out. Bitterly cold, you might say.

It’s around this time of year, when the morning train platform starts to feel like its own form of torture, that I usually find myself thinking about the same kinds of things:

Is it going to get colder? Am I going to start hating my commute again? Is this the year I finally crack and buy a puffy winter coat?

I’m dangerously close to conceding on the last one. Sure, I would prefer not to look like a marshmallow, but these freezing temperatures aren’t messing around.

From there, I start making a list of all the cold-weather items I should probably add to my list. And since it has been a while since I blogged, I’m sharing it with you. I’m also hoping to hear your recommendations if you’ve purchased one if these items (or something similar) with great success. Most of my readers are in the Midwest or on the East Coast, so I know y’all have some winter wardrobe advice.

Must-Haves for a New York Winter

H m
$13 – hm.com

180s glove
kohls.com

Faux fur hat
$26 – oliverbonas.com

 

You guyyyyys.

I feel like I’ve been in this apartment for a month. Getting a wee bit stir-crazy.

To be fair, we have left a couple of times. The day after the storm, we drove to visit Joey’s grandma and make sure she was okay. And we ate at Johnny Rockets because the mall had electricity and we did not. (Desperate times.)

And yesterday, I went to the gym. (Hey, if it’s open…)

But other than that, we’ve been staying put to reserve gas in our cars. (In case…we have to flee? I have no idea. But pretty much every pump has a line around the block, so we’d rather not have to get gas until things calm down a bit.)

The weird thing is, when we stay in our apartment, we can almost pretend like everything is back to normal. We have electricity, Internet, hot water. Last night we ordered delivery sushi. (And, yes, felt a tiny bit douche-y doing it. BUT IF IT’S OPEN, WE WANT TO SUPPORT, YOU GUYS.)

If anything, things are nicer than normal because I’ve been home all week so the apartment has stayed cleaner than normal. (I’m bored, remember? That means lots o’ cleaning going on.)

Like I said, we’ve been very, very fortunate.

That being said, I’m still pretty glad that tonight we have plans outside our home that require us to wear real pants and brush our hair. Because it’s time, guys.

How is everyone else holding up? Getting cabin fever like me? Or too busy worrying about real issues like property damage and lack of electricity? Let me know if I can help!

Well, the power is out again, so I don’t want to waste too much phone battery, but I wanted to give everyone a quick update of our status.

We’re FINE.

I went exploring briefly this morning (okay, I was seeing if I could find a cup of coffee…no dice) and every traffic light in our town is out. There is a lot of debris and branches and I passed three downed power lines. It’s still a bit windy, but not too bad.

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But again, we are fine.

Both our offices are closed for the day (not that I could get to the city anyway since the trains are still shut off), so for now we’re just hanging out. Fun fact: The aftermath of hurricanes is kind of dull.

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Right now my biggest concerns are how long we have before all our refrigerated food soils and everything I have to catch up on at work.

Which, given the alternatives, are two pretty take concerns to have.

Hopefully everyone else is staying safe too!