I’m not a big crier. I swear. I mean sure, I get choked up when a little kid starts talking about miracles or their older brother or how much they love their kitten, and I wept like someone had killed MY boyfriend at the end of West Side Story. But who didn’t? (Besides robots. Because you would have to be INHUMAN not to cry at the end of that movie.)
But despite my will of steel, I always find myself practically hysterical when I get frustrated or supremely disappointed. Which happened today. In public. And even though I ran away from the problem and drove the twenty minutes home, I was STILL sobbing, which led to making my emotion-phobe roommate incredibly uncomfortable. (Although she hid it well for my benefit. Gotta love her.)
The point is, I hate people seeing me cry. I am NOT a pretty crier. You know what I mean: I’m one of those mascara-running, snot-dribbling types. Plus, I work pretty hard on this invincible exterior, and I don’t like having the illusion spoiled by sniffly tears. So I googled ways to keep yourself from crying. Here’s what I found, in order of helpful-ness:
Least helpful: Calm down by taking slow, deep breaths.
Oh really? Oh, I should probably just get it together then, huh? Thanks for that world-rocking advice. Thanks a lot.
Maybe helpful: Shift your jaw forward and press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
The theory is that by making a face not compatibly with crying, you will confuse yourself enough to hold off the waterworks. Sounds plausible, but with my luck I’ll just end up an uglier crier.
Most likely to be helpful: Anticipate situations where you might cry and visualize yourself dealing with them.
Practice makes perfect, right? Usually I cry when expected to explain myself (yeah, SO helpful), so it makes sense that mentally preparing would help me keep it together.
Eventually, though, everyone needs to have a good cry now and then. I’d just prefer to have mine while in my pajamas with the Jets and the Sharks.
You know what ISN’T good right now? The job market. And is it just me, or does it seem like the media is getting hit especially hard right now? I mean, I get it. Magazines are a luxury that people are likely to forgo in times of need. On the other hand, magazines–especially luxury publications–are a perfect form of escape. Unless, I suppose, you DON’T enjoy lusting after pricey designer handbags after reading the email about your revoked Christmas bonus. To each her own.
The catalyst for this musing comes in the form of a series of layoffs that occurred at the publishing house I work for. I mean, the woman who HIRED me was laid off. I don’t think I’m in any danger–the lowly intern salary is hardly the one breaking the bank–but it’s still a little surreal when the negative effects you read about on Gawker hit home. Especially when you were planning on starting your career in six months.
Anyway, in an attempt to scrounge up extra cash until then (in the hopes of warding off starvation, eviction, etc.), I’ve been applying to write blogs for various companies/publications. So far I’ve applied to two: Barnes & Noble and a men’s blog. I’ll keep you updated. (You’re on the edge of your seat, I can tell.)
I’m officially giving up on the idea that I’m original. Every time I hang out with someone new, they invariably turn to our mutual friend and say, “Doesn’t she remind you of Janet?” or “Isn’t she just like Allison?”
To be fair, I’m fairly average in most ways. Average height, average size, brown hair, etc., etc. But I still liked to fancy myself as SOME sort of stand-out. As is, I guess I just have to be happy that most people are comparing me to someone they like.
This was all too true last night, when I met my best friend Annie’s new boyfriend. We’d been hanging out for an hour or so when he just couldn’t contain himself. “She looks so much like _____!” I, of course, was unsurprised that I reminded him of someone, but to her credit, Annie gave him a look until he backed down. “Ok, she’s better looking than her, but still!” As he insisted and Annie kept discretely shaking her head to me, I tried to overlook the fact that he was essentially telling me I’d “been done before.”
If not less attractively.
Tomorrow is my consultation appointment for getting my wisdom teeth out. Apparently important things will discussed including the following:
1. Do I want to have general anesthesia or be knocked out completely? (Um, duh. Knock me the hell out.)
2. When would I like to have my face operated on? (Never is not an option.)
3. …? (I actually have no idea what else will be discussed.
I keep reminding myself that I have a bunch of friends and family who have survived oral surgery without anything horrible happening to them. So I should be fine. I will be fine. I just need to keep saying it.
To anyone wondering what a good post-op gift would be, think mango sorbet. Any advice out there for a girl about to put her gums under the knife?
Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, meaning I’ll have officially survived another year. 2008 has been a big one for me, so I decided to write up a little summary for posterity. Here’s where I’m at as I ring in the new year:
Status: Single, but for the first time with hopeful prospects.
Occupation: Magazine intern for custom publications (Publix grocery stores, Century 21)
Favorite food: Caterpillar Roll
Music I like right now: The Ting Tings, Cobra Starship, Beyonce AND Britney’s new albums, Taylor Swift, Kings of Leon (to name a few)
TV shows I watch: The Office, The Hills, The City (don’t judge me), What Not To Wear, Biggest Loser
Favorite colors: yellow and green
Book I’m reading: I just finished Into the Woods, and now I’m staring reluctantly at a copy of Twilight Susan gave me. The horror…
Favorite magazine: GQ, Details, New York Mag, Wired, Glamour
Goals for next year: Graduate, move to New York, get a job at Conde Nast, and, if there’s time, find a nice boy. But no pressure.
Overall opinion of my life: I like who I am, and I like where I’m going. I’m very happy.
I just got back from Colorado, and after spending over 18 hours in the car, I’ve come to a conclusion: Driving in the Midwest is mind-numbingly dull. I don’t like to just whine about problems without offering a solution, however, so I’ve come up with a handy list of ways to entertain oneself when trapped in a moving vehicle (even if you’re the driver). They are as follows:
1. Books on tape. Think about it. You’ve been meaning to read War & Peace anyway, right? Here’s your perfect opportunity. You can even get them free from your library, or hit up Cracker Barrel. You have to pay for them, but you get most of it back if you return them. Trust me, it’s worth it–the time flies.
2. Radio Karaoke Contest: This is simple, hilarious, and great for entertaining groups. It’s like that awful game show, “Do you know the words of this song” or whatever it was called. Choose an order you’ll all perform in, then each person has to lip-sync (or sing, if you’re so inclined) whatever song comes up on their turn. Whoever does the best wins a soda at the next rest stop. (Sidenote: Don’t stare at the word “karaoke” for too long. It starts to look like a fake word if you do. Especially if you’re trying to figure out if you spelled it right.)
3. Photo Adventure: Even if your camera was stolen, you can still have great success with this game if you can get your hands on a nifty disposable camera. You can either turn it into a scavenger hunt (each person gets a list of things they need to get a photo of along the way; the winner gets shotgun on the way home) or you can break up the trip by stopping at bizarre tourist traps and scenic spots for a brief photo shoot (think World’s Largest Ant Farm or a pretty lake.)
Of course, there are always classic car games (Slug Bug, The License Plate Game, etc.), so feel free to get creative with those. Happy trails!